December 16, 2004 - There's an old saying that goes "You never get a second chance to make a first impression." I grew up believing this phrase... mostly because it is true. However, former theater critic/suspected spy/world famous literary figure Lemony Snicket has a distinctly different take on the concept of impressions.

"I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong. You can look at a painting for the first time, for example, and not like it at all, but after looking at it a little longer you may find it very pleasing. The first time you try Gorgonzola cheese you may find it too strong, but when you are older you may want to eat nothing but Gorgonzola cheese." – first paragraph, Chapter Three, page 27, A Series Of Unfortunate Events, Book The First: The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket.

After careful consideration, not to mention first hand experience, I am now inclined to side with Mr. Snicket on the subject of first impressions. Let me shed a little light on why I've had a change of heart... The first time I met Lemony Snicket I thought he was a pretentious, arrogant blowhard. Of course I did not know that the pretentious, arrogant blowhard I'd met was Lemony Snicket until well after the fact, but that really doesn't matter. I first met Lemony Snicket at a holiday party some years ago. As the party was winding down a small, intimate group assembled in the living room area, and as with all small, intimate groups, stories began to be told. Being a consummate storyteller myself, I naturally jumped into the fray, figuring that I would regale the small, intimate group with my tales of chasing dragons in Prague and hunting down Jack the Ripper's ghost in the Curry Lane district of London. Such was not to be as my narrative skills were quickly overshadowed by the aforementioned pretentious, arrogant blowhard and his tales of New York City, the mysteries of small town upbringings, and some twisted yarn about a trio of orphans by the surname Baudelaire.

Granted I was angry that my storytelling had been upstaged by this unknown individual, but he was a rather adept yarn spinner. It wasn't until the wee hours of the night that he and his wife decided to depart that I learned his true identity. And if it weren't for a lad by the name of Max I may have never known that I'd sat in the company of the world famous author, Lemony Snicket. As the storyteller rose to leave, young Max, the nephew of the hostess, jumped up from his spot on the floor where he had been listening to the stories unfold with a certain amount of intensity. He scrambled around for a pen and some paper, eventually settling on a holiday napkin and a scoop of frosting scraped from one of the cakes on the buffet table. He approached the pretentious, arrogant blowhard, offered up the napkin and palmful of frosting and gingerly asked for an autograph. The blowhard obliged, licked the remaining frosting from his index finger, donned his overcoat and with a tip of his hat, departed. Curious as to why young Max would want an autograph from such a person, I inquired as to whom the mysterious storyteller was. I was immediately informed that it had been none other than Lemony Snicket, word famous author.

photo by Spence D. Daniel Handler is clearly contemplating beating up Spence D. during their recent interview. Nice tie.

Still thinking him a pretentious, arrogant blowhard (albeit one that was a much better storyteller than I), I was nevertheless intrigued by the man or more accurately the mystery of the man. I immediately delved into the first three books of his ongoing account of the unfortunate Baudelaire orphans, which is where I learned about his take on first impressions. Needless to say, when I was offered the chance to meet the man again, I jumped at it, if not only to try and woo him with my storytelling prowess, but to once and for all prove which of the theories of first impressions was true.

As you already are well aware (that is if you have actually been paying attention), I am now a firm believer in the latter (that would be Mr. Snicket's theory of first impressions) for when I met him the second time he was nothing short of gracious and well-mannered. In short, I found myself intrigued by him in much the same way that I'm sure young Max had been on that cold, blustery night long ago.

Before I proceed any further I feel the need to expose something. Lemony Snicket and a man named Daniel Handler are one and the same. My meeting was arranged with Mr. Handler to discuss the works of Mr. Snicket, specifically the first three books of his A Series of Unfortunate Events series, which have thusly been turned into a feature length film starring Jim Carrey. Upon entering the brightly lit hotel suite he had commandeered for the day Handler/Snicket, dressed in a tan colored suit, scuffed up Spectators, and a colorful Hugo Boss tie, jumped up from his seat, rushed to the door and enthusiastically shook my hand. This was not the same pretentious, arrogant blowhard I'd met before; I can assure you of that. Second impressions settled in, we seated ourselves across from one another and addressed the business at hand. To cop a bit from the Lemony Snicket style guide, business at hand is a phrase which here means "we began to converse about the books and the film"...